When you get involved in online dating you get a mix of excitement and nervousness. Excitement because you do not know who you might meet, and nervousness, because you do not know who you might meet! Most guys on online dating sites, particularly the major ones are just regular people like you and me, but it would be unwise to just start chatting to someone online and then head out to meet them immediately without getting a better idea of who they are.
That is why I often counsel that having a quick phone chat with someone before you agree to a date is a great idea. It will put your mind at ease, your friend’s minds at ease, and also make that initial meeting with the guy a whole lot easier.
You want to chat to a guy before you meet them for a number of reasons. Safety is the first one and I’ll go into more detail about that below. But when meeting anyone new you want to make sure you are sure you’ll get out of there in one piece. This might sound a bit dramatic, but it can happen to unsuspecting women. A guy might sound gorgeous online, but be not so much in the flesh. If you find yourself in a compromising position with someone like that you will be in serious trouble. If you have talked to them on the phone beforehand, you will have a much better idea of who they really are and whether they can be trusted.
If you talk to them on the phone you will also have better idea of how they actually act. Anyone can write anything online, but it is al to more difficult to keep up an act when you are talking. When you talk to somebody you get a better understanding of them than in writing, and you will have a better gut instinct about whether this person is truthful or not.
Do They Stack Up?
An obvious reason to talk to somebody on the phone before meeting them is to make sure that they actually are telling the truth. Fine, you will not really know how they look (unless you skype), but you will be able to talk to them about themselves, and talk about yourself, in a much safer environment.
A phone chat before a date is really about allowing yourself another layer of protection before you go out for the night with a strange man. By talking on the phone you will know pretty much straight away if they really are a doctor, really are 27, or really English. If you found out these things on the date then a) your night would be wasted, and b) it is far more difficult to pull someone up for lying when they are there with you and have you trapped. On the phone you can say thanks, but no thanks.
Like I say, safety is paramount. If you can talk on the phone beforehand then you will not be as likely to be trapped with a strange man, miles from home and with no support. It is not a foolproof method, but does at least give you a bit of reassurance when you actually go on the date.
Plus you can test the guy a bit, seeing if he really is nice, has a short fuse, or is disrespectful in any way.
A good sign on these negative traits is whether he agrees to the phone call at all. Sure, many men are not as comfortable talking on the phone as women are, so do not expect a long, in-depth conversation like you would have with your girlfriends, but if he says no to the phone call at all, then you should say no to him. Any decent guy would suck it up and put on the charm for ten minutes while you talk, especially if he might get lucky at the end of it.
But if you do have a phone chat with the guy before the date, keep it brief, keep it fun, and, if you are interested, tell him so!